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Unknown


Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.

Richard Jeni


It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

William Arthur Ward


Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.

Lord Alfred Tennyson, Ulysses


For I dipt into the future, as far as human eye can see, saw the vision of the world, and the wonder that would be.

Charles Horton Cooley


Prudence and compromise are necessary means, but every man should have an impudent end which he will not compromise.

Peter De Vries


My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Mark Twain


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Office Space


Peter Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour. I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

William Shakespeare


Be not afraid of greatness some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


All truly wise thoughts have been thoughts already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.

Lord Chesterfield


Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.

Groucho Marx


No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

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